How to Love People and Not Compromise | Doug Addison
Doug Addison

How to Love People and Not Compromise

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Two common questions that I often get asked are:

  • “How can I love and be around people who are not Christians without compromising my own faith?” and
  • “How can I interact with people who have lifestyles I do not agree with, without them thinking I support their behaviors?”

What is compromising?

To compromise means to make concessions or accommodations to someone who does not agree with your beliefs or standards.

I was taught for years that I needed to stay away from people who are in the world (not a Christian or in a church). I was told the Bible was clear about this, but when I began to study it for myself, I was surprised at what I found.

Jesus said, If you love me, keep my commands” (John 14:15 NIV). But did He command us to stay away from people who need His love? On the contrary, Jesus said the two greatest commandments are to love God with all your heart and to love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:30–31).

Jesus also modeled for us being around people who were not part of the religious groups of that time.

Be wise

We need to use wisdom and be safe, so if you struggle with things that are not good for you, then take time to remove yourself from those temptations.

When I gave my life to Jesus and got off drugs and alcohol, I still struggled with it for years. So I needed to stay away from those temptations—which included people and places—until God worked these things out of my life.

But this does not mean we should stay away from everybody that does not agree with us.

You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
– Galatians 5:13-14 (NIV)

When I became a new Christian, I was afraid to hang out or eat lunch with people at work who were not believers. But God began to instruct me that this is okay to do and it is His heart to love people.

So how can we do this without feeling we are compromising our faith?

Love and not judge

I used to sit in the lunchroom at work reading my Bible by myself. Although this is a good thing to do, I was isolating myself from the people around me and they were viewing me as some sort of religious fanatic.

Our goal is not to separate ourselves from those who need the Lord, but to love them. Jesus demonstrated this as He hung out with people who were considered sinners. He was even accused of being a glutton and drunkard.

Yes, Jesus was accused of compromising His faith, but He gave us an example that He wants us to follow.

I recommend you find ways to connect with people and not worry about what they believe. Going to coffee, lunch or watching a sports game are great starters if you do not do this already. You might be surprised at how much people want to be around you, especially when they realize you do not judge them.

Tips for getting started

My wife and I started our first church in a New Age, hippie college town in the Midwest. God instructed me that if we wanted to reach that city we would have to love and not judge them.

Our worship team began going to the New Age coffeehouse open mic night and our love took that town by storm. We did not preach the gospel, hand out tracks or isolate people by making them feel uncomfortable around us. I was invited to speak at events and would start by saying, “I am not here to judge you.”

Within one year, we began to reach people for Jesus without doing altar calls. We demonstrated God’s love by doing kindness outreaches, serving the poor and having God parties. We were known as the “fun church.”

As seekers began to hang out with us, they got their questions answered and were being discipled on the spot before they even gave their lives to Jesus. This is how Jesus did it.

We had fun without compromising and people gave their lives to the Lord after they experienced His love!

Blessings,

Doug Addison

P.S. Do you want to discover the biblical principles and keys that open the heavens over us and open people up to God’s love? Check out my message here.

Doug Addison is a prophetic speaker, author and coach. He is known for his Daily Prophetic Words, Spirit Connection webcast, podcast and blog. Doug’s message of love, hope and having fun reaches people around the world! His powerful, positively funny teaching style and coaching helps open people to discover their destiny and experience God’s supernatural love and power. He and his wife Linda live in Los Angeles, California where he is impacting the arts, entertainment and media industries.

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42 thoughts on “How to Love People and Not Compromise

  1. Rinda Rossouw says:

    Hi

    Can you please share a few examples? That would be much appreciated.

    Thank you in advance

    Rinda

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Hey Rinda! An example would be how Doug and his wife went into the New Age coffee shop and loved the people who were not Christian around him without needing to preach at them, not while not becoming New Age themselves.

      Another could be having a neighbor who you disagree with their lifestyle but you invite them over for dinner to show you value them as a person. Another example could be you have a family member who is not Christian and wants to argue with you about it. Instead of arguing back, you continue to be very kind and loving to them. Both these cases you are not adopting their behavior or beliefs, but are showing them the love of God.

      Bless you Rinda!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  2. Margaret Surface says:

    This is awesome ! I am living this way currently in my job. I am involved in a church who loves to do evangelism the old fashioned way, and that doesn’t work for my husband or I. We love doing the prophetic evangelism you taught us. Jesus was all about relationships, not just numbers. Your teachings have rocked our lives for the Glory and Honor of God.

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Your awesome Margaret! You are so right, it’s about relationships. Keep it up!

      Bless you and your husband.

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  3. Dru Ortiz says:

    I love what you have to say about being apart of but not of it. It’s really what Jesus called us to do and if this is the case then we need to be obedient and just do it.

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Good question! Doug is saying its a way of serving others and loving people while having fun. So it has a party sense because it’s a group of people and is so much fun.

      Bless you Doreen!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  4. Kristen Decoteau says:

    I am so grateful for your ministry. I met you back in 2003 in Yakima Wa. You & your wife have a way of loving people that cause them to want to know Jesus. What a beautiful example you are of the love of Jesus. Blessings to you & your ministry. Thank you!!

    • Admin Nikki says:

      That’s so cool! Thanks for sharing that. It’s always wonderful to hear things like that about Doug and his wife.

      Bless you!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  5. Clyde Schramm says:

    Appreciate what you said. It was simple, the truth n inspirational. Fir years ppl told me to do church stuff to bring ppl to but it didnt work so i backed off. The years ago you had a thing called giving ppl an encouraging word where i lived. It changed ppl n me. Now i try to blend in yet nit compromise. Ppl respect what i say. Thanks Doug.

    • Admin Nikki says:

      It is so cool to see how being encouraging can change so much! Bless you!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  6. Glynis Cozza says:

    Wow!!! So simple, pure and powerful! Meet people, connect, and love them with Papa God’s heart – “We had fun without compromising and people gave their lives to the Lord after they experienced His love!”

    Thank you for answering the question with this “God so loved the world” perspective!

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Woo! Thanks Gylnis, you pulled an awesome quote that sums it up well.

      Bless you!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  7. John Clauder says:

    Good Stuff DOUG every Thursday out in the streets of Encinitas ca second largest yoga center in the country new age leading people in the Kingdom DOUG you have alway been like a mentor to Me an encourager for this ministry we have done in coffee houses street fairs doing dream interpretation spiritual readings drum circles praying for healing even in local High schools an college keep up the good work my friend

    • Admin Nikki says:

      That is so cool John! I love your heart for going into places like that and bringing heaven to earth. That is AWESOME!

      Bless you and all God is doing in your life.

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  8. Stephen says:

    Thank you for hearing God on this subject Doug. I am a Christian and I am gay. Having been judged, rebuked, shouted at, black-mailed, threatened, had scripture quoted at me, described as mentally unstable and then made to feel I was no longer welcome in my church, I found God’s love in a whole new way. I am finding Jesus in a more personal way than I did in the past, and I often find great encouragement from your posts and encounters with God.

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Thanks for sharing Stephen. We are so sorry that you’ve been treated that way. I’m so glad you still are pursuing Jesus, He is so good and He loves you so much.

      Praying blessings over you!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

    • Karen Doyle says:

      Stephen, I’m sorry the church has been so hateful to you. My granddaughter is gay and a pastor of a church told me not to associate with her anymore because that was “accepting her lifestyle”. Sorry, but I love her and want to be there for her. To be honest, at first I struggled with her decision and had a hard time with the “religious doctrine” that had been taught to me, which is so contrary to God’s commandment to love everyone. But because of Doug’s teachings and me praying for God to get this “religiosity” out of me and see people as He sees them, my whole way of thinking has changed. Just keep drawing closer to Him and feel His great love for you. He will tell you what you need to do. You can always start a home group! Be blessed!

    • Sara says:

      Hi Stephen! I just wanted to say Im so grateful that youve kept your heart open to the Lord through all that you have been through. Its easy to shut down and lose trust when we have been wronged or hurt. But you are not one of those who shrink back! You are loved, brother, and the Lord has great plans for you! I pray great healing and peace, joy and love, Double for your trouble! amen

  9. Marsha Brannan says:

    Awesome Word Doug! God has brought me many Divine appointments to love on those who are unlovely….one way or another. The love of God melts the hardest heart and transforms mindsets that are seemingly hopeless. His love changes everything!

  10. kristine says:

    Hey Doug. Thanks for that great explanation of how to draw boundaries to help us not compromise our standards and yet to love-well!!!! I’m grateful for your example. May I ask, how did you handle situations if/when they asked you to participate in or support in practical ways their “religious” events or their services? Did you go and engage at their “religious” events as you normally would as a Christian (being there but praying to Jesus and such)? Or, did you keep your engagement with non-Believers to situations where you were not involving yourself or helping them with their religious activities? Just curious. Understanding your thought process here would be helpful, as I’m feeling a call to similar types of circumstances but want to remain uncompromising for Biblical values…

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Good question Kristine. Doug is talking about being on a neutral ground, such as a coffee shop or mall. He is not referring to other religious places such as temples. I encourage you to stay close to the Holy Spirit and listen to what God is saying if you feel called to go to these places. Most likely I do not think God would call you to participate in places where you seem to be worshiping as those who are not Christian but in your mind are worshiping Jesus. I know is some of the Daren Wilson’s documentaries people do go into those places, but again, you just got to hear from God and see what He’s saying.

      In this movie you’ll see Doug ministering in LA. You may find this movie inspiring https://dougaddison.store/product/father-of-lights-dvd/.

      Bless you!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  11. Michelle says:

    Thank you Doug! God is SO good! This is the perfect timing for this message as He is opening doors right now! You are such a great blessing. Thank You Jesus for Doug. Please bless and surround his ministry with Your divine protection and guidance.

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Thank you for the prayers Michelle! I’m so glad you enjoyed the message.

      Bless you!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  12. Pat says:

    Where Jesus separates the Sheep and Goats is another great example of what Doug is saying here. I’m pretty sure people in prison weren’t a good influence when they first arrived there, yet Jesus tells us to go visit them. Due to a difficult season I somehow ended up with people living in my home that were doing things I was trying to stay away from. Through much warfare and confusion I started doing what Doug says to do, 2 days ago and this morning one of them came out of his room and announced that he starts a new job next week after being unemployed for 8 months and the other one that was running from an abusive husband just got back loaded up with groceries (husband took her shopping and helped with her needs without expecting anything from her) these things may seem small but to me it’s amazing because this was my specific prayer for both of them for 3 or 6 months (lost track lol) the prayers didn’t manifest until I changed my perspective to what Doug is saying and it ushered in Gods goodness for them and showed me that He only partners with us in peace, love, rest etc when they thanked me for praying and being patient I couldn’t get to my room fast enough because it made me cry. It reminded me that the greatest gift we can give to God is to sacrifice our needs and be facilitators for Him to touch who the world and the church tosses out and sometimes it requires us to soldier up and be the only light shining in dark places. It’s people like Doug and team who have risked reputation and a cushy place with the church in order to carve a large enough grace space, to facilitate those who are willing to do the same for the least of these. That’s what this perfect timing message means to me. God bless everyone of you!

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Wow thanks for sharing that Pat. That is just so cool! I love how you opened your home and were praying for these people. What an awesome heart you must have. I am so glad you are seeing answers to prayers. Bless you and all those living in your home!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  13. Karen Doyle says:

    I get so excited when God asks me to bless people! Last night in the grocery store, He asked me to bless the woman ahead of me. I asked her if she minded if I blessed her. She had a 40-oz. bottle of beer in her items. When my eye caught the beer, God told me not to judge her and had an encouraging prophetic word for her. She was so happy she hugged me. Thank you, Doug. I have been learning a lot from you, especially about becoming “unreligious” and I’m loving it! Blessings to you and your ministry team!

    • Admin Nikki says:

      What a cool story Karen! God is so awesome with how He continues to surprise us with how loving He is. Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful story.

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  14. Candice Kuhlman says:

    This is such a timely post for me because I was wrestling with whether or not my desire to show love to my coworkers had left them with the impression that I agreed with their lifestyles. I could feel my heart getting weighed down by the idea that maybe I needed to speak correction so they’d know I didn’t condone certain behaviors. Thank God for this post that snapped me back into the kingdom mentality of unconditional love!

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Awesome, thanks for sharing Candice. You seem to have a wonderful heart. Keep on lovin’ :).

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  15. Ellen says:

    Awesome message, Doug! I wish it could be put on Facebook, YouTube and other media places for ALL to see and read. I believe this is one of the very reasons why some Churches are not growing. As new Believer’s enter into a Church they first look at the “standards” that are set before them. For example: how others are dressed, how others talk and who they talk to. How the Church people treat these very special new comers is very important! I look at these people as “war trodden”. Because I was like them once, I was trying to defeat a undefeatable lifestyle. We have to look far beyond their past (old way of doing things) and help lift them up to the next level of light, the light of Jesus. We need to help meet their needs, be their friend, love on them! Show them Jesus! They are “babes in Christ” needing to be guided.
    God Bless you, your family and your ministry!
    I love you!

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Thank you Ellen! We feel the same way. Feel free to share Doug’s blog post anywhere you see fit!

      Bless you!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  16. Joana Lovivatu Delana says:

    Thank you. Recently I attended a workshop called”Stepping Stones Trainning”. It had to do with HIV, STi, and 98% of the participants were LGBTGMS of our local “House of Colors”. Boy, I was out of my league and totally uncomfortable. On the second day it began to dawn on me that I was in this for a divine purpose. This was not a group I would normally associate with. I do not condone or agree with the lifestyle. But God had put me there and I knew I had to get out of my comfort zone into the wilderness for these people whomJesus also died for. Your blog has the answer to the question that had been bugging me since then!!! Hallelujah!!! Awesome God!!!!

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Wow that is so beautiful Joana! What a light you are to the world! Bless you!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  17. Donna says:

    Any particular insights on dealing with/working with neighbors who blaspheme? I wonder about what Jesus said regarding if we confess him before men, he will confess us before Father in heaven and the same for “deny”. Do you speak up when a neighbor/co-worker blasphemes?

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Good question Donna. I would keep loving them and being kind to them. Your love for Jesus will shine through your actions towards them. And when they ask you about God, you’ll be able to tell them to truth. The biggest way to show people God is through our actions.

      Bless you!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff

  18. Rose says:

    One of our daughters is living with her boyfriend, and we don’t have very many opportunities to visit her, because we live in different states. And for other different reasons, we have had very little time with this daughter. And his job happens to be with marijuana. which whether it is legal or not, I am not okay with. And he enjoys drinking which I do not like to be around either.

    But our daughter wants us to spend time overnight, which I have a fight going on inside me because I know it’s a sin.
    I appreciate all opinions, thank you…and yes I have and I am praying about it.

    • Admin Nikki says:

      Is she asking you to stay the night at her place where she lives with her boyfriend? If so, I’d say you could since it’s not your home. Go and show her God’s love and how much you treasure her as a daughter. When she’s at your house you can set boundaries that they don’t sleep in the same room because that is your territory, but at her home, that’s not your territory and she is old enough to make her own choices.

      While your there invite God’s presence and keep praying as I’m sure you do, for God to keep speaking to her and for her to step into her God-given destiny. You being her mom have so much power in your prayers. Keep it up!

      Bless you and your daughter!

      -Nikki, InLight Connection Staff


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